The serving wench arrived with a platter of food. A heaping plate was placed in front of him. Before he had time to contemplate the various portions and colors, a crisp piece of bacon was crunching between his teeth. Oh, glorious bacon! Thank the Gods for… Before he could finish the thought, a large spoon with something white and rotten smelling, approached his mouth. The foul odor overwhelmed him, as the acrid horrible taste fell on his tongue. Urg… ick, yuck, aaaaahh, blech!! His head fell forward and he watched as the dollop of offending waste fell from his tongue onto the plate.
“Victorie eeeeh!” Joey yelped, “Gross. Is the yogurt bad?”
Yes! Yes, very, very bad, Blah, pleck! He hated that he couldn’t wipe off his tongue or take a large drink of the dark liquid before him.
“No.” The voice sounded confused. “It’s fine yogurt, not great, but ok.”
“Uh…so why’d ya spit it on the plate? Gross by the way!”
“I don’t know. I just had to get it out of my mouth, seemed important at the time.”
“Maybe you did hit your head yesterday.”
“Maybe, but you said the punch didn’t make impact. So, how did I hit my head?”
“Dunno. But, all the sudden, you’re scared of elevators and you’re spitting out your food. Plus, you said you were missing time.”
“Yeah, so the last thing I remember was Steve punching me in the face.”
“But he didn’t. Your head whipped around, like always, with that crazy blonde hair hiding how fake it truly was. And the crowd went nuts.”
“Well that’s not what I remember. I felt that punch slam into my jaw and when my head came up, I was looking at some crazed, redheaded, Celt looking, medieval nutbag coming at me.
“What?” Joey leaned forward and Vic was held rapt in fascination by her words. She had just described Gregory Hail perfectly, what parts he could understand anyway. He had no idea what a bag of nuts had to do with any of it.
“Yeah and the I was pushed forward and shock of shocks, I proceeded to beat the crap out of him and the man that had been holding me, with my HUGE man hands!”
“Man hands?”
“Ya! I was a guy! A big, big, guy. I could kinda see my arms and well, I think I was hot.”
Hot? The voice coming from his mouth was describing his fight with the Hail brothers. They had gotten their licks in, but he had proudly won the match. Although, not for his betterment. After seeing the condition of her brothers, Mary had dismissed his proposal and called him a tyrant. As he was thinking of the events of his unfortunate experience, the voice was telling it…oddly, but with a fair amount of accuracy.
“…And the cow called me a bunch of names I mostly didn’t understand, and told me to get off her lands. What a Beotch!”
Joey stared openmouthed as the voice continued. “So, I climb on this horse and my jaw is freakin’ throbbing and I ride for what feels like a whole day. The entire time, I’m like screaming in my head. What the fuck! And where am I? But, I can’t get any control. Weird right?”
Weird. The meaning of this word is beginning to become clear.
Joey closed her mouth and nodded. “So Steve hit you and you were in another world, as a hot guy, riding a horse, after a failed marriage proposal, to an ugly chic?”
Mary is not ugly!
“Yep. I know.” His head was nodding. “Freakin’ nutbag!”
What is a nut bag? Infuriating!