The question of sexuality in relation to a serial killer is a fascinating one. In the cases where a person deteriorates into an animalistic executioner, can they maintain a normal sexual relationship? In many of these instances, I would say without pause, the answer is no. And yet, there have been documented cases where this was not the case. In most of these situations the relationship manifests, eventually into something darker, but occasionally, a very compartmentalized mind, may be able to maintain the two personalities, lover and killer.
Serial Killers are Murderers who take the lives of three or more victims over a period of time. These notorious men and women always have some dark, sexual aspects to their grisly murders. Ted Bundy killed his victims by bludgeoning and strangulation, after which he had sex with their lifeless bodies. Jeffery Dahmer tried to create sex slaves by drilling holes into their heads and pouring acid into the open wounds. This macabre individual, wanted desperately to construct a zombie, a dark sexual fantasy that proved impossible. His bizarre acts led to the cannibalization of his victims. It is widely believed that he was so in love with these men and boys, that he felt the need to consume them.
Henry lee Lucas began molesting a nine year old girl and continued that relationship until her sixteenth birthday. While this behavior was ongoing he believed he was in a relationship. He spoke freely of how he “raised her up from nine years old.” He was also active during this period of time, mercilessly killing women. He maintained that he loved his girlfriend, right up until he stuck a knife in her stomach, killing her in a pitiless act of brutality.
Eileen Warnos killed her victims while approaching the sex act; later claiming all of her victims had tried to rape her. During her highly touted, man hating adventure, Eileen maintained an odd relationship with a young lesbian. She asserted in several interviews, that she sold her body to provide for her young lover. These desperate acts led to the murders that later consumed her life. Even after her girlfriend turned on her, the desperate woman maintained her righteous rational for taking the lives of the men she viciously slaughtered. Her relationship with her girlfriend was an enabling one, both women helping the other to maintain a dysfunction, while blaming the other.
Dennis Rader, the B.T.K killer, used torture as a sexual component in his crimes. Although in several cases he never actually had sex with his victims, especially in the beginning. In Ted Bundy’s case, early childhood, trauma was evident and could be a catalyst to his future behavior. At age ten he discovered in a chaotic turn of events, his sister was actually his mother and his parents were his grandparents. There is some evidence that his grandfather was also his father. Some experts believe, this biological disturbance could attest for his aberrant behavior. Development of Ted Bundy’s brain may have been severely damaged by his incestual ancestry. This is only speculation.
Shyness plagued Ted’s youth until he learned to hide behind a cocky, self-assured facade. Like many serial murderers, Ted’s personal life was riddled with insecurities. He courted his first love using poetry and his infamous charm. Initially, his good looks and intelligence served him well, but soon the object of his affection saw through his veneer and called him on his juvenile behavior. Ted was humiliated. Although he later gained her approval by attaining a better job and a sleeker look, Ted brushed her off in an act of revenge and then moved on. Interestingly, all of Bundy’s later victims looked remarkably like this young woman.
Ted’s next sexual relationship with his college lover was aggressive, though not violent. Whatever deviant needs and desires Ted Bundy had, they were not expressed outwardly with this woman. Later, one of his partners stated that Ted liked her to lie still and sometimes he would pretend to strangle her. In retrospect, she wondered if he secretly wanted to be with a dead woman. This apparently became a problem latter on, as he became unable to perform in normal sexual situations. Again, Ted’s issues seem to stem from his first serious girlfriend belittling him after several misunderstandings. She reportedly called him a boy and told him he wasn’t able to sexually satisfy her. This seemed to be a turning point. Although he seemed to enjoy sex and have real affection for this young woman, his need for dominance eventually overcame his ability to retain an erection during normal sexual activity. Ted was so addicted to this dominate behavior that when given the chance to rekindle his first true love, he chose an act of petty revenge instead. Subsequently, he focused his rage on her likeness. Was Ted punishing her for knowing how insignificant he was, through a series of surrogate victims?
In the case of the B.T. K. Strangler, Dennis Rader operated in the Wichita, Kansas area for more than thirty years. He was a member of the church during that period and was married to Paula Raider, all the while enjoying the debauchery of a diabolical killing spree. During these dark years, Dennis was going home to his wife and behaving quite normally. They lived in a quaint Kansas home. He managed to father and raised two children, even becoming a Boy Scout leader, while continually living out his darkest fantasies.
Dennis implied in many of his writings, that he maintained this relationship to foster a feeling of normalcy. Marrying Paula was another step in what Rader perceived as a normal existence, as was becoming a member of the church and having children. His wife has not spoken at length about Dennis, but it was clear that a possibility exists that she was aware of his actions. (BTK, Unholy Messenger, Stephen Singular. 2006, Simon & Schuster) Paula discovered a poem that was written about one of the earlier victims. When asked about it, Dennis told Paula that it was an assignment for one of his criminal classes. Because he was in school studying criminal justice Paula believed him and let the incident pass. Dennis kept pictures and an abundance of memorabilia from his crimes in the house, easily accessible to any member of the family.
An executioner who crossed borders as well as boundaries, was a man named Jack Unterweger. Jack was a convict. He originally went to prison for a vicious crime in the mid 1970’s. Jack began writing about life in prison and constructing poetry, among other prose, that led to his acclaim as an author. In a peculiar event, he was released in 1990 and soon after became a celebrity of sorts. In the eyes of the criminal justice system he was considered a model of rehabilitation. Around this time woman began to show up dead, brutalized and strangled with their own bras. Many of these women were prostitutes. Later, that fact and that the killers name was Jack, was not completely lost on the public’s fascination with this unusual case. Jack, using his notoriety inserted himself into the investigation. He began hosting a radio show and interviewed the police, discussing the details of these troubling murders. He traveled from Australia to America frequently using his job as a cover to commit horrendous crimes. During the violent escapades of this period, Jack was maintaining a relationship with a beautiful woman he met while in Los Angeles, a trip he took that culminated in several slayings.
The relationship started slowly, with romantic dates and long walks on the beach. They would discuss the cases of the murdered girls and eventually Jack convinced his new love to travel to Australia. Once in his home town, Jack began to display odd behaviors toward his lover. He would dump freezing water on her head and pretend it was funny. Occasionally, he would dunk her when she was taking a bath, from time to time, holding her under, just long enough to scare her. When she cried he would say, “Why are you so upset? It was just a joke.” Sex was normal initially, but slowly he began to choke her during their love making, eventually until she was unconscious. (Entering Hands, John Leake. 2007)
Like many serial murders before him, Jack felt abandoned by his mother and fostered a hate for all women. He was able to hide this behind a facade of over the top behavior and extravagant wardrobes choices. All of Jacks friends describe him as a charismatic gentleman. This is what his girlfriend believed in the beginning. It never occurred to her that she was falling in love with an ex- con who was still a psychopathic serial killer. Jack kept extensive diaries, expounding the daily events of his life. This allowed great insight into his broken mind.
The traits that this group all share seem to be the need to appear normal. This is especially true in the aspect of sexuality. As long as the partner believes they are experiencing a normal range of intimacy, they are able to continue this façade. This seems to change once the significant other catches a glimpse of the aberrant behavior their partner secretly desires. Once those cracks are witnessed, the house of cards begins to fall and what lies beneath is exposed. Few criminals of this magnitude are capable of sustaining a functional relationship during times where they are criminally active. The case of BTK is a rare one and is also suspect. As stated earlier, many doubt that Paula Rader was as unaware as she claimed.
All of the serial killers of the last few decades have maintained some sort of sexual relationship prior to, or during their killing sprees. While all of these killers have several characteristics in common, the need to rape, torture, and sometimes mutilate their victims, did they maintain a normal sex life outside of their insidious acts of violence? Were their relationships with others normal? Or, were they simply playing a game of cat and mouse, far darker than anyone ever realized? The most obvious answer to these questions is this: a murderer can only maintain a sexual relationship in the same distorted way they would maintain any other. It is a manipulation, rocketing down a pathway of inevitability and catastrophe.
Until tomorrow. Fortune favors the brave! Samantha Shu
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